Standing Upright
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
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Are we still standing upright?
This is a place for me to talk about the kids, my parents, my siblings, work and just about anything on my mind. Sit back and enjoy the ride as you see the goings on of a large family and wonder if we are still really standing upright!
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
I am just posting to say
I am safe, we had a good christmas and things are moving in a good direction.
Love to you all!
Shelly
posted by Shelly @ 12/27/2006 02:11:00 PM 0 comments
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Well....
Many of you have mentioned how happy I seem both in the pictures and in talking to me. Well folks I am happy, how sad is that. I am ending a almost 11 year marriage, probably scarring my children a bit, but they will be so much better off believe me. And I am happy. For the first time in my life I make decisions for me. I don't worry about who is gonna be upset if I do this or that. I don't worry if I go to bed at the wrong time eat the wrong food, dont' eat the right food (and I don't mean healthy versus junk folks). I don't worry about what's on the tv (well I don't watch much of it anymore) I don't worry when I talk on the phone or to whom I talk on the phone with. I don't worry about a lot of things. I know my kids are doing ok, no one is abusing them no one is yelling at them and except when they make each other cry I don't worry about someone else making them cry. I don't worry if I am not good enough for someone in some aspect of my life and I don't worry that I can't be myself and embarrass someone else. When I am not with Mark I am a totally different person, makes one wonder why?
I have often felt like when I met him I was broken I had been used and abused so badly by men, I was left with a child the day I found out I was pregnant. Only to find out the scum was married the whole time to another woman. Mark was a promise tha I could be loved. Even if I had to conform to his type of love. His words hurt often, he often times would make fun of my attachment to my family or get mad about it. He forced us to get married early because he was jealous of my friendship with my maid of honor, and her time with me. I did it because I was afraid to lose him, and he threatened that. Over the years there have been other threats. Even some on his own life. It's hard to live down those sort of threats. Makes me feel weak that I let him do that to me. I did everything in my power to make him happy everything even at my own expense and still he wasn't happy. It was never ever enough. Now of course in therapy he says I am his everything and he will change. Bullshit, when you are asked to change over and over again, you won't change. I don't want to go back to being that person. I want to be ME, the person I like the person people like to be with. Even the mortgage people say Michelle your so much fun I can't imagine you not being fun all the time, well folks I wasn't. Oh well you work through things I guess.
Life is good folks, yes I am hitting some bumpy roads here and there yes the boys are my main concern right now, but you know what together the 5 of us can get through anything.
Thanks for caring! Love to you all!
Shelly
posted by Shelly @ 12/14/2006 05:29:00 PM 5 comments
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
shhhh
I realized the people who are getting them for christmas don't come here :) so I will share the close up face shot is the package I got so that's the one that mom is getting for christmas. The sheet shot (the studio's name for it) is really just a fun one for me :) I enjoyed it and before you ask yes I am dressed under that sheet ;).
posted by Shelly @ 12/13/2006 04:58:00 PM 3 comments
About Me
Name:Shelly
Location:Indiana, United States
The mother of 4 boys, 3 of which have special needs.
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Previous Posts
I am just posting to say
Well....
shhhh
Well when you start life out as single you need new pictures right?
We saw Santa today
The confusion is settling
Happy Thanksgiving
An update on Dylan's surgery
It's been a while hasn't it?
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